Female and male: Scarcity and the Well Tempered Husband

I am amused to see that so far this month nine people have purchased cock cages through our Amazon links. (And some of you have been kind enough to do your other Christmas shopping through our links...thank you!)

Quite honestly, I was more than a little sceptical about caging elliot. After all, he was perfectly well behaved and well trained sexually before I decided to cage him. And I thought it would probably draw more attention to his little cock than I would prefer. However, after buying a cage a little less than a year ago and having decided that he is to wear his cage pretty much full time, I have to say I would never go back.

Of all of the practices which keep elliot in his position, caging his cock has had the most fundamental effect on his outlook and behaviour. I can't imagine why I did not think to cage him before.

The fact is that once your husband is caged he has surrendered the last vestiges of his independent sexuality. Sure, he can plead and beg for release, but with your key in hand that is not going to happen unless and until you want it to.

By locking elliot's cock up, more or less permanently, I have taken a huge step in taking full control of our marriage. I can send him off to dress and service our cute little maid, confident that he will have no direct sexual contact with her without my permission. He can sleep with me every night and, while he is often erect - or at least as erect as his cage allows - there is nothing at all he can do to relieve his sexual urges.

Now, this year I am getting him a steel cock cage - only because I think changing things up is always a good idea. His silicone cock cage has served us well. I have ordered a second silcone cock cage so that he can thoroughly clean his cage while never being allowed out for more than a few moments.

With Christmas coming elliot will, of course, expect Chrismas treats. And he may well get them if I decide he deserves then. And he has been a very sweet, docile, hard-working husband all year.

Now, ladies, for your own husbands, chastity is a gift any time of the year but the Christmas season upon us, it might be a good time to make some changes at your house. Different wives run their marriages in different ways. For some of you, the gift of chastity can be given with nothing more than the purchase of the chastity device and a direct order. Make sure that your husband understands that his chastity is not a matter of negotiation. At the same time, recognize that even a soft cock cage will take some getting used to and before it can become a permanent fixture there is a breaking in period.

Other dominant wives may be at a different point in their journey. Their husbands will not yet have the habit of obedience. Especially younger wives with younger husbands can expect some pushback. A good firm caning will usually smooth the way; however, you can also present your husband with his cage and explain that this Christmas, the gift you really want, is his submissive chastity. Have him put the device on himself. It can be a little tricky. One thing to note, it is effectively impossible to put on a well-fitted chastity cage if the cock in question is even a little bit erect. Having your husband masturbate himself or, if you are feeling generous, bringing him to ejaculation yourself before he puts on the device will ease the way.

With elliot, I have invested his cock cage with a good deal of shame and humiliation. I send him to the washroom to put it on and my only involvement is to, when his little cock is in its place, click the padlock closed. I think it is wise for a dominant wife to keep the upper hand which ritual humiliation gives her. This leaves her husband even more dependent on her whims and mercy which is always a good thing.

Now, for my married male readers: there is no reason why you cannot purchase a cock cage for yourself and present your wife with the "keys to her domain". But be prepared for a good deal of confusion and even annoyance unless you have discussed your chastity with your wife before you lock yourself up. Remember, you are giving the gift of your chastity but there is no reason to think your wife will be thrilled unless she has already agreed to accept that gift. So, by all means, purchase a chastity device but as a prelude to a conversation with your lady wife. Remember, it is her decision.

Finally, for single men who would like to experience the chastity lifestyle a couple of alternatives: first, you can buy a cock cage and wear it without a keyholder. It is good practice and, when you find that special someone, you may be more comfortable explaining your chastity if you have lived with it a while.

A second alternative - and a mildly risky one - is to ask a good female friend to hold your key. It is, I am afraid, a potentially awkward conversation but you would be surprised at how willing the right girl will be to hold your key. This can be excellent training for a single male as he will focus on a female who he is not ever going to have sex with but who has control of his sexuality. Once again, excellent experience to prepare you for a wife led marriage when the right girl appears. Remember to give your keyholder lots of lovely presents - spa days, books, cashmere sweaters - and make sure you offer to wash her car, clean her apartment and generally make yourself useful. Most of the advantage of this sort of arrangement is that you will be so embarrassed to ask for your cock cage key knowing that you are assuming the correct male position with a female who you are not in any sexual relationship with. You are asking for permission to masturbate you naughty thing.

Tokens of Submission: #Corners and #Cock #Cages

Every morning elliot wakes up puts a dressing gown on over his nightie and goes downstairs to put on my kettle. Then he comes back upstairs, strips naked except for his little black cock cage, take my yesterday's panties and, silently, pushes them into his corner with his nose. When he hears the kettle boil he puts his dressing gown back on makes my tea, serves it to me in bed and then, without a word, returns to his corner.

I like elliot to shower daily. While there is no reason he cannot shower in his little black cock cage, I think it is better for him to have it off most days. I keep a key beside me on my night table. When I have finished my first cup of tea I will simply say "Present" and elliot, who I have trained to do this, will put the panties away and stand in front of me with his hands behind his back. I unlock but do not remove his cage and he goes for his shower.

He knows he is to put his cage back on after his shower. Again, I don't have to tell him.

Man's best choice

Looking at our Amazon results there will be three men whose cocks will be caged in the next few weeks. A cock cage is the perfect gift for a woman leading or getting ready to lead her marriage to give her husband. Not because it will keep him chaste and attentive - although it will - but rather as a symbol of his complete capitulation to your authority.

Men are obsessed with their cocks from a very young age. Boys will make four or five messes a day as teens and that sort of masturbatory behaviour will, unless sharply curbed by a wife from the very earliest stages of a marriage, continue. In a wife led marriage, where the husband is expected to be chaste and never comes without his wife's express  permission, the husband gives up control of his cock and, more basically, his sexuality.

A soft, short, cock cage is, like elliot's morning corner time, simply a reminder of his position. He knows that I love him dearly and find him very sexy indeed. I love having him lick my pussy until I come. But I love that in the context of his being sent to his corner while I am coming. I love him pleasuring me without any expectation that he will have any direct sexual pleasure whatsoever.

Issolating his cock in a soft silicon cage simply reminds him that he has surrendered his sexuality to me. When he has to sit down to use the toilet he remembers his vow to "love, honour and obey". And when his morning erection wakes him up with discomfort he remembers how much happier he is now that his little cock is no longer in his control.

Three more men will be discovering the pleasures of having their cocks caged. Even the most Alpha male is far better off without the distraction having control of his cock will cause. In fact, surrendering that control will make him all the more formidable in the rest of his life. Men are easily distracted - taking control of their cocks removes many a distraction.

Wife in Charge

I have had several emails and social media messages from both men and women asking how elliot and I have come to our female led marriage. elliot has written a bit about it at his blog, here and here and that is a good start.

From my own perspective I am not naturally dominant in the sense of wanting to boss people around. Instead, I like to have people, particularly my husband, work very hard to please me. Which is not, I must say, all that difficult to do.

At the same time, very early on in our marriage I made it clear to elliot that, at least in the bedroom, I was in charge. Too many women put up with mediocre sex too often. I was more experienced than my lovely alpha man and I knew he needed training. So, I began by cutting him off entirely after about six months. No sex for a month focuses a man's attention. Then I began our current regime where he is allowed to have sex when I want the greater pleasure his little cock can sometimes bring.

What this did was put him on my sexual cycle. The only time he had any hope of ejaculating was when I was on heat. The rest of the time, while I would have him pleasure me with his tongue and fingers from time to time, his cockette was entirely irrelevant. (Caging him has only underscored my control.) A man allowed to ejaculate only a few times a year is a very attentive man.

It was a natural progression to both punishing him and whipping him to remind him of his place and he learned to accept his whippings as a near substitute for the sexual satisfaction he was denied. He actually gets quite broody when he's not been whipped for a week. Over a year, while he might ejaculate a dozen times, he'll be whipped at least forty. Whipping makes a huge improvement in elliot's attitude and puts a bounce in his step.

Humiliations like corner time, his little black cock cage and having to wear a girdle during the day or a nightie to bed, simply re-enforce the fact that I am in complete charge in our marriage. Special attention like nipple clips or having to push his steel rod up his backdoor add a bit of surprise to the mix.

The wonderful thing about a wife led marriage is that elliot is completely focused on me and what I require. And, of course, I pay strict attention to elliot. At the most basic level after years of marriage, we each are devoted to each other. The femdom element and the fact elliot is chaste means that we both live on a bit of sexual edge which many of our contemporaries' marriages seem to have lost.

When a wife is in charge of her marriage she has no choice but to pay close attention to her own desires while ruthlessly curbing her husband's. More than once I have whipped elliot simply because he was getting all hot and bothered and I was not in the mood. A well whipped man standing in his corner with his nose pressed in your panties is actually a pretty sexy sight and, I have to admit, I have occasionally whipped elliot just so I could take myself in hand for my own pleasure as he stood so obediently. Which is, of course, my perfect right and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Must be Strict #femdom

One of the more interesting difficulties in a female led relationship is that, eventually, your husband is very well trained indeed. He does as he is told without question almost all the time. He accepts his chastity and understands that only your sexual needs matter in your marriage. He cleans the bathroom, puts away the dishes, rinses your lingerie without being told to.

Of course, once in a while, he might be a little moody or slightly disobedient; but not often. While there is much to be said for maintenance whippings and daily naked corner time for him to remember his place, the fact is that unless you make new demands he will, slowly, cease to be on his toes. You don't want that and, just as importantly, neither does your husband. Men do best when they have goals.

I very much enjoy having elliot get up, turn on the heat, put on my tea kettle and take my yesterdays' panties to his corner. It is especially cute now that his little cock is in his soft black silicone cage so he can't play with it. It also gives me a chance to give him his instructions for the day.

I very much enjoy having him build our Amazon books - the series of 1950's Mens Magazine Covers - is actually going to be an archive which I'll use for some of my retro outfits. And I love how our last bout of exercise and nearly full time girdling slimmed elliot down. So, from now until Christmas he's to make a magazine a day and do exercises twice a day before and after he puts on his daily wear girdle. I'm a little on heat at the moment which is an excellent time for elliot to be very much locked up. He can lick very effectively while his little cock is straining in its short cage.

Being a dominant wife is all about focus. Which, fortunately, I have.

#FemDom Free Book for Black Friday

Shopping Madness! Before you buy enjoy our first book A Man In My Position Free!
And then, when you have downloaded that book carry on shopping at Amazon. I have a few items to pick up for elliot's training:

• this rather elegant dressage whip,
• this metal chastity cage for punishment,
• and this rather large looking bottom plug for, as she put it, "mindfulness in your corner"

And I would like to buy this smokey eye shadow palette, this lipstick, these pretty control top panties and these gorgeous seamed stockings.

So, like everyone else on the internet we ask you to consider doing your shopping at Amazon through one of our links...maybe this one to get your free copy of A Man in My Position

Much better

It is really true that a man locked in chastity is a lot more attentive and obedient. In fact, elliot is positively looking for ways to please me.

I have been a bit distracted recently but this morning I was in the mood for a lovely submissive husband bringing me tea in bed, cleaning up the kitchen, spending time with a nice moist pair of my panties in his corner and then pleasuring me until I was ready to have a glorious orgasm.

I've taken to having him retreat to his corner when I am close. I love watching him push his nose in my panties and, if not for his cock cage, get harder and harder as he hears me coming to the edge and falling over. So that is exactly what happened.

After I had throughly enjoyed his very skillful tongue - he just gets better at licking and sucking my pussy, not to mention sliding a couple of very clean fingers right into me - off he went in his adorable little cage. It didn't take me long to come and when I had I lay back and sipped my tea.

"You can get into position now." He knelt on the bed and I took my time bringing my medium rattan cane down hard against his ass. I wanted welts and I got them. When I was done I sent him back downstairs to freshen my tea. He was very grateful.

That's better

I have been experimenting with elliot's cock cage. We have established that he can be caged pretty much full time for as long as I want. The question has been how long that actually is.

elliot is two things: first, chaste unless I permit him to come. Second, nipple trained - basically, unless I am pinching his nipples quite hard, even if he is erect and thrusting he is not allowed to come. Which means that his cage is not keeping him chaste, it is doing something else.

At one level having his sweet little cock in its cage is just another way of reminding elliot of his position. He has no sexual rights in our marriage and that is just the way we both like it. But the cage also isolates his cock. While he is never allowed to touch his cock without asking permission there are moments where he gains a certain amount of stimulation from rubbing, or wearing his girdle or even just against the sheets. With his cock in its soft cage that stimulation is gone.

I prefer to be the sole source of elliot's pleasure or frustration. The cock cage enforces that situation. When I came home from shopping and elliot handed me the key he knew he was going to stay locked in until I let him out. I suspect he also was acutely aware of the fact he has not been allowed to come for nearly three weeks. All the while taking his micro doses of Viagra.

His behaviour has been far from perfect so locking him up will need to be accompanied by a good caning or two...But first it's time to give him something to make his little cock uncomfortably hard, I am going to have him lace up my corset for cocktails. Maybe I'll whip him as well. We'll see.

Playing with Twitter

I have been having fun playing on Twitter.

It is a silly place but there are some wonderfully erotic images posted.

It is also a great place to post our Kindle Books and my Pins at Pinterest.

I've set up a feed to your right.... Enjoy!

Not One Thing It's Another

What a silly week or two. Lots to write about but just as elliot was about to write our wonderfully remote power went out.

Well, there are many things you can do by candle light. Many. Especially with a delightful, obedient husband who has his little penis locked in a soft cage. No danger of mess with my pleasure and elliot is growing quite resigned to the fact he is pretty much going to be wearing his cage full time.

He did beg briefly as I had not let him out on Halloween as he thought I night. A quick caning and half an hour en femme in his corner reminded him that it is always my choice and it is vulgar to plead.

He's been delightfully docile since and contentedly making Kincle books which makes him hard. His cage makes that uncomfortable but not impossible.

I told him to put up a couple of free books and here they are:

We had great fun shooting some of the pictures in this book. I styled the lovely young and remarkably well build young lady and elliot, under my direction, had fun shooting them.

Half way through the shoot it was quite obvious that he was enjoying himself a little too much so I asked the girl if she had a nice wooden hairbrush, took elliot to her bedroom, shut the door and spanked him until his little cock settled down. I fear out model quite enjoyed the noise and was all the sexier for the remainder of the shoot. You can get the book free here.

This is the first of our Spic and Span series of reprints of the famous 1950's early 60's British magazine. Nothing but pretty, amateur girls who know they are naughty showing off their stockings, gorgeous petti coats, knickers and bras. This is the first of six of these collections.

You can get Spic and Span #1 free here.

Close...but no ejaculation

Well poor elliot tried but he only managed to complete two of the three Kindle books he was assigned. They will be up shortly.

So I locked him back in his cage after cooling down his little cock with a nice ice bath. He was wonderfully frustrated but, of course, obedient. He has a busy week this week and it will be interesting to see if he gets his book assignments done. But, the delightful truth is that he may stay locked up right through his Halloween feminization which, I think, might be appropriate.

Meanwhile, here are two free books to start your week with a little lingerie fun:


50's Lingerie 50's gals in stockings, girdles and bullet bras.

And So to Bed Pretty Girls in Nighties

Out of Chastity...To Work

Poor elliot...I uncaged him last night and teased him for an hour. then he had to put on his girdle over his frustrated, hard little cock and try to go to sleep.

For fun I told him that if he was able to get three Kindle books done I would let him ejaculate...maybe, after dinner before putting him back in his little black cage. He knows that he is going in no matter what so the incentive is the possibility of relief.

Even as I write he is upstairs converting wonderful old 1950's magazine covers to Kindle books. I think the covers are great. These wonderfully curvy gals looking ever so naughty while revealing nothing more than you expect to see on the beach. And for years men bought these "smutty" magazines and, funnier still, hide them from their wives.

elliot just did a set of bondage magazine covers from the 1970s and 1980's. Here's what he wrote:

Naughty girls in trouble

Naughty girls tied up. The most recent is a set of bondage magazine covers from the 1970's and 1980's. One of the things which I enjoy about the older magazines is the lively innocence of the models. They are playing in various titilating ways.

You can see all the books I've made, and Hannah has approved, at my new Amazon author's page.

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I like his author's page. But I want him to get to 100 books by Christmas. And I have all sorts of clever ways to keep him focused.

Every man needs a hobby.

Silly Boy

My darling has put up a wonderfully silly book which is an old bit of British smut from the 50's. Frolic. You can get it at Amazon here for free today and tomorrow.

Naughty British "Schoolgirls"...

Meanwhile, i knew I was going out this morning and thought that elliot might benefit from a morning with our nJoy stainless steel wand in its proper place. He writes about it over on his blog.

I enjoyed my morning out knowing that he was caged and stuffed and in a nice tight girdle...very good for a husband now and again.

UPDATE...Of course I was not going to let him out of his little cock cage. I tease him a bit about getting out but I suspect I will keep him locked up right through Halloween when he can get all nicely dressed up en femme and pleasure me. But he has been busy and there is another free book for you to enjoy!





You can download Sizzle#1 for free right here.

Completely In Charge

My Darling has been in his cock cage for five nights now. I have not let him out, except for a quick shower, and I don't think I will.

The cage itself really imposes no great discomfort. I have teased him erect several times and stood him in his corner hard in his cage. A full erection is, more or less, impossible and even being tumescent is a bit uncomfortable. Which is, of course, not my problem. In actual fact this particular cage is quite soft and a bit elastic. I can certainly see why, for punishment purposes, dominant wives will confine their hasbands to a hard metal or stiff plastic cage. elliot's cage is made of silicone and is more a protective restraint than an actual cage.

The key thing is that it blocks all sensation to elliot's little cock. And, of course, it is locked on. It means he is denied the stimulation which I think many men enjoy form their clothing or night clothes. Even in five days I have seen a real change in elliot's attitude. Because I think he realizes that his cage is permanent. Unlike a girdle - which I still have hime wear during the day - the cage specifically eliminates his sexual capacity.

Now, I love being able to gain my greater pleasure from elliot's little cock. But I like that greater pleasure perhaps twice a month. And that, save for some showers, is the only time his cockette is coming out of its silicone prison. The rest of the time he can, as he should, remain sexless.

I have, however, decided to maintain his regular micro doses of Viagra. It creates a wonderful "wake up" erection which gets the silly boy out of bed and onto his morning duties and corner time. Nature's little alarm clock gets all the louder when it is straining against a CB6000short

I think I like this cage thing

elliot has been in his cock cage for two nights now. He's figured out how to be as comfortable as possible in his chastity. I have had a little fun teasing him and while erections are not comfortable they are not agony either.

This morning I thought it would be interesting to just use his very talented tongue and then dismiss him to his corner without unlocking him. How delightful. He is docile as a lamb with his little cock all locked up and, because the cage is black and opaque, largely invisible.

So I had a lovely orgasm, had elliot clean me up and dry me with his mouth and then dismissed him. He was very hard and his little black cage strained to hold him in. But it did. I was able to completely ignore his obvious desire because I had left the keys downstairs. Where I think I will keep them.

I can see why clever wives lock up their submissive husbands. It really is for the best.
------
We have a couple of free books out today which you might enjoy:

Questions for Miss Jay: An Escort's Guide to Style, Dates and Fun download here

50's Spanks download here

Do enjoy and if you really like one please review it.

Keyholder

elliot deliver the keys to me, on his knees, as instructed.

He's been hard at work ever since save for a couple of walks.

For the moment I am paying no attention to his chastity other than telling him, as he knelt, to be sure and take his regular micro dose of Viagra.

I'll tease him a little before bed but the last thing I want is for his chastity device to change our regular routine. My worry is that having his cock in a cage will make him think more about his little cock than his duties.

And we can't have that.

His Chasitity Has Arrived

elliot's lock up

At last!

I have to admit I have been looking forward to the arrival of elliot's chastity rather more than I thought I would. And today, delightfully, it arrived.

What struck me first is that it is wonderfully smooth. The black silicone is soft to the touch and nicely flexible. The device itself is quite small - which is what I wanted because elliot has a very normal to small cockette and I want it confined not flopping about.

The dear man is out at the moment but, when he comes home, I want him to do the fittings before I lock him up. I don't want him to be uncomfortable except when he is erect or even a little tumescent. Then his cage should remind him of his place.

Soon I will be a girl whose man has a "little black cock" LBC...what fun.

Here's what's in the box.

A place for every small thing: my little black cock

Free Kindle Books

My lovely husband elliot writes:

To celebrate 200 posts to this blog the Lady of the House has instructed me to post some free Kindle books over the next few days. If you like these please review.

Here are two of the over 50 books we've published in the last couple of years...we'll be making more available for the rest of the month.

50's Smut
Glamour Art



And you don't need a Kindle to read them you can download a reader here. MAC Android

One of the fun things about being a dominant wife is that I know a great deal more about elliot's penchants and peccadilloes than most of my girlfriends know of their husbands'. The fact we've published 50 books since we began our first blog more than three years ago reflects my encouraging him to put together images and stories for his blog (and mine) as well as his own amusement. I like to know that he is up at his desk, hard, and working on his collections.

Soon, when his little cock cage finally gets here, working "hard" will be less comfortable. Which is excellent. Elliot will be reminded of his place once again.

In any case, enjoy the books. We'll put more up on the weekend.

A Change of Pace

An Escort's Guide

As regular readers will know elliot and I are in the final throes of bringing my book, Avails: Escorting for the Elegant Woman to press on Kindle. It is quite a job as, right now, the manuscript is 230 pages.

I decided to bring out a little volume of the questions I've been asked as I have been writing the book. Questions for Miss Jay: An Escort's Guide to Style, Dates and Fun covers a range of topics.

Everything you ever wanted to know about stockings, the difference between a $150 and hour service provider and a $1000 an hour courtesan, the fun of "toy shows". How to entertain two men at once. Why a threesome with a client's unsuspecting wife is probably not the very best of ideas. Becoming a mistress, the fun of foot fetishes and many more questions are answered.

I shall, of course, maintain my discreet silence as to how I might be in a position to answer these questions; but the fact is that escorts and stylish women share a lot in common. A sense of the world as it is. A delightful optimism. And, most importantly, a total lack of surprise at the foibles of men.

Knowing what I know as a dominant wife flavours the entire book as it does Avails. So go and have a look and, by all means review the book or get in touch directly with thoughts, hints or suggestions. You can find Questions for Miss Jay here.

Mindfulness: Nipple Clips for Cocktails

There is nothing which concentrates elliot's mind quite so much as an hour in my pretty lingerie clips. Pictures are over at his blog where you can see his little pink nipple (and all that hair) in its clip. I'll have to take a few pictures after a caning.

He asked me to take them off after about half an hour so I set the time for another half hour and had a delightful glass of wine with my darling.

Of course, we both know that they hurt more coming off than going on. And his nipples remain sensitive for hours afterward. So I teased him when we went to bed and his dear little cock was actually dripping when I told him to pull down his nightie and turn off his light.

He's been very attentive all day.

Art: Dominant Women

Now go to your corner!

I encourage my darling to find interesting art devoted to Dominant Women. There is not that much of it about and what there is is often pretty crude. But I wanted a little Kindle book to show to a girlfriend who is interested in leading her marriage and so I told Elliot to start rooting around in his archives. Here's what he wrote over at his blog.

"I wonder,"said Hannah "If you have collected enough really elegant dominant female art to make a book. Show me what you have."

So, of course, I did.

"No, no, no, Oh please. No. This one is pretty strong. No..." Hannah is very, very selective. But, in the end, she chose 50 pieces of various sorts. A bit of bondage, some forced feminization, whips, men as servants. And then, having selected the first fifty pictures and rejected about four hundred, Hannah wrote an introduction for the book.

We both hope you will enjoy Hannah's choices of Dominant Woman art.

I fear the Kindle rules forbid a number of rather saucy pictures which show the finer points of caging a cock or pegging your submissive husband. But some of the art is really quite beautiful and some is deliciously suggestive. Elliot's corner time today will be nicely fragrant. Enjoy!

If a Job is Worth Doing....

I want one of these. I realized that I had not properly whipped Elliot for a month. Partially because he has given no cause - which is good - and partially because I have been rethinking the entire maintenance discipline concept.

In actual fact, between a fair amount of corner time, occasionally having to have his nipples clipped, wearing a girdle twelve to twenty hours a day and having to wear a nightie to bed every night, Elliot is more than aware of his position and, I think, very much enjoys it. When his little cock cage gets here - soon I hope - his passive discipline will be complete.

But what about whippings. The fact is that I find Elliot much more humble and subservient when his bottom is well welted. However, we have slipped into the habit of fairly prefunctory "maintenance" sessions. Not a good thing. Better not to have maintenance at all than to do it half heartedly.

So, as Elliot relates at his blog, instead of the usual half dozen fairly light strokes, I decided to really make his maintenance count. Half a dozen medium and half a dozen stingers with a light rattan cane. The last six I delivered with the little wrist flick which makes the cane bite. I wanted him to wear his welts for a few days.

I am not by nature a sadist or particularly cruel; but I do believe that if you are committed to doing something you should not go in for half measures. Maintenance whippings should not be just "routine"; Elliot needs to know they are going to sting and that he can look forward to them more often.

I must admit I can hardly wait for his cock cage to arrive. Then his submission will be complete - even if I only lock him up occasionally. The fact I will have that much control over his sexuality, that he will not be able to have an erection without my permission, that he will have to sit down to pee, is very, very intriguing.

The lovely dog whip pictured would make both maintenance and correction a bit more interesting. Now Elliot does not know if I will be using a light or medium cane or the lovely bit of acrylic which has a bit more density. The dog whip would add a bit more weight and, I suspect, would welt Elliot a bit more efficiently.

Fall is Here

Lest people think that only Elliot wears the girdles in this house, now that fall is here, the picture to my left pretty much covers my own foundations.

If you like wearing stockings, an open bottomed girdle is wonderful for daywear and evenings. While I am happy to wear a roll-on like the one in the picture during the day while I shop and generally am out and about, in the evenings I like a side-zip high waisted girdle - after Dior - such as the Rago Hi-Waist Open Bottom. Now the open bottom style is really unsuitable for husbands as you need to wear stockings to keep all the various tensions aligned; but it is fabulous for a fashionable girl like me.

I know there are lots of women who will complain of discomfort but, in fact, once you are used to it, a girdle is like a second, slightly tighter, skin. Plus, wearing a girdle will mean that nicely tailored clothes fit perfectly and you will have a wonderfully sleek silhouette. No jiggle. The key thing to remember is that girdles look best on the toned bodies of women who don't actually need to wear one. Which means my walking and bike riding are rewarded through the fall and winter.

I might post some snaps one evening when I am getting dressed for cocktails.

Chasing the Maid

That naughty man...here I was thinking he has been working hard on my book about Escorting for Elegant Women but it turns out he has been building another sexy Kindle Book.

Just for fun I put all my maid art together in a pretty little - well actually quite large (100 pages) - Kindle Book. The Art of the Maid has drawings and cartoons of maids as well as an introduction Hannah and I wrote. We had a wonderful maid and we're looking forward to having another once we get on with expanding our house. The Lady of the House has even more fun when she can enjoy the attentions of a really well trained lady's maid.

(Elliot notes: If you are an Amazon Prime user - and you should be if you are eligible - you can "borrow" The Art of the Maid free...and don't worry, Hannah's champagne fund is still paid.

Key thing...your first 30 days of Amazon Prime are Free...so you can download lots of books.


It's nipple clips for cocktails for Elliot I say...

Lock Down

A delightful man has been in touch with me. He has been trying to use my Amazon wish list to purchase the cock cage for Elliot. But, for some reason, the wish list is not working.

I have to say it was quite fun to tell Elliot to fix the wish list so that his little cock can be locked up most of the time, or at least from time to time. He has adapted quite well to having to wear a girdle most of the time so a cock cage will not be that radical a change. Although peeing sitting down and having to wipe will be quite an adjustment.

In actual fact I am inclined to think that cock cages may put too much focus on the caged object and take focus away from obedience and service...but there really is only one way to find out.

Calm and then a bit of Amusement

A little later I am going to sink into the lovely hot bath Elliot will draw for me. I have this month's big thick Vogue Magazine and by that point a glass of bubbly wine will be a delight.

I suspect I'll send Elliot to his corner while I am in my bath. It will, I'll bet, be a welcome relief to peel off the girdle he's been wearing since the beginning of the month. Next week, until he loses those pesky last five pounds he'll have to wear the firm girdle during the day and a lighter girdle to bed. Those last few pounds are always the hardest to lose and Elliot needs incentive.

I am leaving the question of locking his little cockette up to my readers. I have this rather elegant cock cage on my wishlist at Amazon. If you want Elliot to be locked in chastity under his girdle all you need to do is click on the link. I don't think he'll like being locked up but I think it is something I would like to try on him. Needless to say he has no choice in the matter and I will be instructing him to post this on his blog as well.

So now, another couple of hours of work and then the bliss of a bath and then, if he's lucky, I suspect I will indulge myself before cocktails with his very clever tongue and my stylish vibrator. (By the way, I cannot say enough nice things about this vibe. It is simple, elegant, powerful and sleek. I've had it for years and while I have other toys this is the one I require Elliot to bring to me most often. As a piece of humiliation magic, having your husband bring you your vibrator and then have to go and stand, naked, with his back towards you, hard as a rock in his corner listening to the purr of the vibe where his tongue has just been is fabulous.)

Once he has got me wet I'll have him put his girdle back on and fix hors d'oeurves. He has not come for ages and I think I might let him over the weekend. But not before cocktails.

Incorrigible ;)

My delightfully incorrigible Elliot has been sitting in his girdle working hard on a bunch of projects but boys will be boys and he put this delightfully smutty collection of pretty 1950's girls being spanked. If they were not so adorable and the situations so silly....Here's what he said. I wonder if I should send him to his corner like the naughty little boy he so clearly is.





I've been working on Hannah's book, Avails: Escorting for the Elegant Woman which is taking longer than we expected. But all work and no play makes for a dull Elliot so I put together this affectionate look at 1950's Cartoon Spanking. Late for work, spelling errors, dinged the car, a girl in the 1950's knew she'd be over her boss's or husband's knee in no time. Have fun and watch out for the political correctness police - they might give you a spanking.

You can click on the image or go here to see a sexy sample of those nice 1950's gals getting what they deserve.

No Wimps

There seem to be two distinct lines on submissive husbands: some husbands are submissive because they are naturally inclined to subordinate behaviour, some are pretty much dominant in every aspect of their lives except their marriages. Both can be happy, surrendered, husbands but I have to admit that I am much more interested in having the respect and submission of a man who I love and admire.

And Not Today Either

Elliot is sitting up in his office in his girdle having been throughly teased and absolutely denied both when we went to bed - I wore a particularly sexy nightie and didn't let him touch me and then stroked his little cock until he was thrusting into my hand - and then this morning when I used my fingernails on his morning erection and then sent him to his shower with the requirement that the last two minutes be cold. He loves these marks of his own submission, but I have no doubt he is pushing forward with his business, writing and working very hard (in both senses of that word) as I type this. His submissive side is only on display in our marriage, the rest of the time he is all the things I want my husband to be: smart, aggressive, risk taking and, when required, even a bit of a bully.

While I require him to do some of the housework and attend to my clothing, shoes and lingerie, I also want an equal in my marriage. A contradiction? I don't think so. What Elliot subordinates to me is first off his sexuality, second his right to make decisions in our marriage and third, any inclination towards "bad" behaviour as I define it. These are all things which he is better off without. There is no reason for any man to make sexual decisions: men are happiest when they are simply told what to do sexually. Yes, every so often I let him have the illusion of a sexual encounter in which he is on top. But he is well enough nipple trained that he is not coming until he has his nipples pinched.

Elliot has accepted the fact that his normal state is chastity. The fact he is hard, that he is horny, is wonderful. It is also not at all relevant to my sexual pleasure which is all that counts in our marriage. I do like him hard when I want him hard and that means he takes his little dose of Viagra and waits for my needs. In our marriage his "needs" are entirely immaterial.

The best marriages have one partner in charge and responsible for the decisions which have to be made in a marriage. I listen to Elliot but al the decisions - financial, social and family - are mine to make. As to bad behaviour, whether Elliot is snippy or disrespectful, if he goes out without permission or has one too many drinks, if he looks at another woman the wrong way or pretends to have the right to comment on my conduct, he knows he'll be strictly and severely punished.

It is how we chose to live. It is not for everyone but it works well for us.

Our Girdle Book - Free

With all the chat about girdles on this site recently the Lady of the House has instructed me to make our girdle book - A Girdle Must Advertise - available for free on Amazon starting at midnight Pacific time tonight and running through to Friday. Enjoy!


Remember you can read Kindle books on almost any device.

Here's the link for the Kindle Reader App (Android, Mac, PC)

One note: while most of our discussion has been about my having Elliot wear a girdle - and it is doing wonders for his posture, obedience and figure - I actually wear girdles myself through the Fall and Winter months. A really well fitted girdle makes a girl's clothes fit more smoothly and keeps your stockings up much more comfortably than even the nicest garter belt. But I wear real girdles not the "pantihose on steroids" which are Spanx. I do have a couple of pairs of Spanx for a really smooth line in jersey or fine knit dresses but, frankly, a fine old vintage girdle is more substantial and usually much more comfortable.

They are also a lot prettier

You can Sleep in Your Girdle - I Mean it

Not tonight

I think I finally have Elliot trained. He was all hard and horny last night at bedtime. I was tired so I told him to get into one of his panti girdles, be quiet and go to sleep.

Not only did he obey me - which I would have expected in any event - but he also waited until I woke up on my own to ask to be allowed to take his overnight girdle off. He's had his shower and in about ten minutes he'll have to pull on his day girdle and get to work.

Once he's lost his weight I think I will keep him girdled as a matter of routine but I am still interested in locking his little cock up. I thought this cock cage was quite elegant. I had Elliot put it on his Amazon wish list - I don't think he is "wishing for it" at all but it would be great fun if it turned up in our mailbox. I'd lock him up and take cute little snap shots of his cockette in jail.

Meanwhile it seems that more husbands (judging from the sizes ordered) are being subjected to girdle discipline. And it looks like some wives like to buy their obedient husbands pretty girdles - if this one was open bottom I'd want it for my collection. I prefer Elliot to see his foundations a pretty practical rather than beautiful or feminine. More Sears than Dior. I want him to simply understand that his fitter, slightly more feminine, figure is for my pleasure not his.

Naughty Boy

Don't stop until I tell you

This is the time of the month, just a few days, when I love my pleasures. And, while I could take care of myself, I have trained Elliot to near perfection. He is able to provide me with pleasure and, perhaps more importantly, obey me even when he is at the extreme end of horny and hard.

The most important thing he has learned is that I am in charge in our relationship and in bed. My pleasure is what matters. I am not opposed to his having a bit of fun but I have learned from long experience that he is more attentive and productive when he is only occasionally allowed to make a mess.

I have also learned that it is best to only let him come in me rarely. When he has to masturbate in his cup knowing that most of the time he'll have to lick his cup clean, he is a humble and humiliated man. Just as he should be. It keeps him deeply enthralled.

As my lovely, obedient husband, writes today

 "She requires me to put both my hands under my bottom when she is riding me like this. And I am only allowed to come if she’s pinching my nipples. Other wise I just have to lie there and follow her delicious lead." 

Just right. Right now he is upstairs working, in his girdle, wet with my juices and very, very hard. Just as I like him to be.

A Note on Pleasure

Numb is nice, Hard is better

Over at the wonderful Monkey in a Cage blog the monkey discusses having to apply Oragel to his little cock to prepare for a bout of pleasing his lady,

Sounds fun in theory – ML gets to ride my cock and use it in any way she desires, while I’m stuck with a numb cock unable to feel any pleasure. So I grabbed a glove and began to apply the Orajel to the shaft of my cock. After a few minutes of rubbing in the gel, I took a moment to wash it off before ML had her way with me – neither of us wanted her to have a numb pussy!

I fear all did not turn out exactly as planned. I certainly think numbing gel is an excellent idea and one commentor pointed out that applying the gel and then rolling on a condom could be very effective.

I commented,

One thing I have tried with Elliot is to give him a little Viagra – not too much, we find 20mg more than sufficient – and then have him make a little mess in his cup. I usually send him to his corner with a pair of my panties to press into the wall with his nose while I get busy with my vibrator. In a little while I will be close to the edge and he, thanks to the V, will be hard again. Sweetness ensues but, because he has already come, he stays hard as long as I want him but he is not even close to coming. He can then alternate pleasuring me with his tongue, cock and fingers plus I can use my vibrator again having sent him back to his corner to preserve my privacy.

Well worth the trivial cost of the Viagra.

Day 3

What Well Trained
Husbands Are Wearing

My Darling Elliot is upstairs working in his nicely tight girdle. He made it until 2:00PM the first day until he finally had to ask me to let him remove his girdle. I told him that after he had taken the dog for a two mile walk, in his girdle, he could remove it. That meant, on his first day, he wore the delightful garment for just on six hours.

Yesterday, the same routine, shower, girdle, work, walk but I added half an hour after his walk. Today I will add another half hour which will take him through until 4:00 PM when he gets ready for cocktails.

He is being weighed just before bed, in his nightie which is wonderfully humiliating. His walking combined with the fact I have forbidden him wine or beer except on weekends, plus my reducing the size of his portions, has worked a little magic: two and a half of his required ten plus pounds have been shed. Early days.

Meanwhile, according to my Amazon sales, three other husbands will find a girdle in their future. Remember to work your husband up slowly and don't skimp on the exercise or portion control. You should only have to tell him once that he is to wear a girdle every day and make sure he knows he has to ask your permission to remove it. (And do write a comment about your experiences.)

I plan to get Elliot up to the point where he is girdled from the time he gets up until I send him to bed around 9:00. Of course, the one other benefit of a well girdled husband is that he is very chaste indeed. All that elastic keeps even a serious erection tightly confined. 

And, of course, as we know, men love routine no matter how much they protest or how humiliated they are. So be firm, set goals, whip him if he does not comply.

Firm

Yes, Dear, the long legged panti-girdle...Now

One of the lesser known pleasures of being the dominant partner in a female led marriage is that you don't have to be patient when you are correcting a problem with your husband. You can, and I do, simply announce the solution to the problem and your lovely husband knows he either obeys you or will be punished until he does. Elliot long ago realized that it was much, much, better to simply do what I tell him without complaint.

I want him to lose a little weight, about ten pounds, and redistribute a little more. Now, I could just tell him he is to walk two miles a day, do some crunches and some squats - which I will be doing - but first he needs a good reminder as to what the problem is. Essentially his tummy and his thighs are a little larger than I would prefer.

Solution? Well, now that the weather has cooled off it is time for him to start wearing his girdles. He has several but for a little while I'll keep him in a rather plain long legged panti-girdle. It is not at all too small, but it is tight enough that his belt is on the notch I prefer. As he sheds the weight his girlde will be less uncomfortable. But I am going to keep him in it eight to sixteen hours a day which will constantly remind him of my decision and his position.

A simple,easy solution and I have the pleasure of seeing what I am aiming for immediately.

I don't think he was very happy when I told him he was going to be wearing a girdle for some time. But, sensible man that he has become, he put it on and is working happily, if a bit uncomfortably, as I write.

Labour Day Celebration

From midnight Pacific time for Labour Day my lovely husband's second book of stories of our female led relationship Obedient Husband is free for Kindle.

We'd love reviews and, for those of you who have related blogs, we'd very much appreciate it if you let your readers know about this free offer.

But just on September 1.

What Fun

Taming the little snake

Every so often I like to have Elliot masturbate into his little cup. This is especially true when I am planning on having him for my greater pleasure in the not too distant future. I could milk him but having him make his little mess himself is all the more humiliating and entertaining.

As he pulls away on my little cockette I play a little with his nipples which gets him wonderfully hard. I was telling him that now that the cooler weather is coming we'll be able to really settle into our routine. Lingerie clips on his nipples for cocktails, our lovely, heavy, nJoy Stainless Steel Wand up his bottom after his bath, his wearing pretty slips to bed...

Then I pinched his nipple, hard, and he came.

"Now Darling, you know what you have to do."

He put the little cup to his lips and licked it clean. It will be a delightful Fall and a wonderful Winter.

Husbands can be annoying

Much as I love Elliott, like every man on the planet, he can be annoying. Yesterday he, without really thinking, said something more than a little snarky. I was a bit insulted but, more to the point, frustrated at his thoughtlessness.

Now, most of the wives I know would have to suffer in silence or, at best, they would have "words" with their husband. Which, in my experience, rare solves anything. I carried on with my very busy day and, just before cocktails, said to Elliot, "Go upstairs and get my cane."

I think he was surprised but he did what he was told and brought me the long cane.

"Go and drop your trousers and lie over the couch." I said and he complied.

"I will not be spoken to disrespectfully." I said having worked out what I wanted to say over the course of the day. "And I will not tolerate thoughtlessness. You understand that?"

I think it is important when you are punishing your husband that he acknowledges his error and your right to punish him.

"Yes Miss." he said rather weakly.

"And you know I will whip you every time, without fail, that you are thoughtless."

"Yes Miss."

"Because we both know that you need your corrections just to remind you to think before you speak."

"Yes Miss."

I gave him eight medium strokes. He would have taken eighty had I decided he needed them but the humiliation combined with a little pain was more than sufficient.

When I was done Elliot pulled up his pants and served my wine. The little cloud which had hung over our day was gone. He was put in his place.

I am not saying every woman should whip her husband but, honestly, I suspect if more did there would be much less divorce and many more happy marriages. Men, if truth be told, need a firm hand almost every day if they are to love, honour and obey as they should. Being able to discipline, train and, if need be, punish Elliot let's him know his position and know how much I love him. Not for everyone but works for us.

My Submissive Husband's Book Free!

A Man In My Position

A Man In My Position (The Well Tempered Husband)

OFFER EXPIRED....We'lll have something else soon.

For the next 36 or so hours my sweeties first book about beginning his life as my submissive husband is free on Amazon. Click here to get it.

Training: Denial? Or Control

One Sexuality in Marriage - Wife's choice

Another set of notes towards my guide book In Charge: Domination for the Elegant Woman

Denying sex to your husband or boyfriend is a bit more complicated than simply crossing your legs and saying no. This because a dominant wife wants much more than every woman's right to, from time to time, decide not to have sex. In fact, sexual control in a female led relationship is a fundamental mark of the husband's submission and when it becomes an integrated part of the submissive husband's psyche it is no longer denial but simple, humble, obedience. He will still long for you but, at the most basic level, he'll have learned that his sexuality has been entirely subsumed to yours.

Which is where we start. Take it as read that male sexuality is pretty continuous at whatever libido level a particular man happens to have. Some men want sex all the time, others just most of the time. However, exogenous events can have remarkable effects on a man's desire. Success raises his libido, stress or failure depresses it.

Now, an elegant woman is never going to marry a man with the sexual continence of a bonobo monkey - which is to say none at all. During her dating years and courtship she'll have determined if a man has odious sexual habits and eliminated him from contention. But a sexually continent man is not the same as a sexually submissive or obedient man. That is a matter of training.

Training should always have a clear objective and, in this case, a dominant wife aims for complete sexual subordination.

A few years ago I came across a wonderful letter in Petticoated,

I am not allowed to masturbate. She believes that male self-gratification is a form of infidelity that robs the relationship of its essence and robs the male of his energy and desire to serve the lady of the house. It is different for the female as they have self-control and, therefore, she enjoys all forms of sexual pleasuring within our relationship. Typically, I am allowed a release no sooner than every 7 to 10 days and often I must wait 14 to 21 days. She notices that I become much more docile, respectful and subservient after 5 to 7 days following my last release. Often after pleasuring her, she simply tells me that it would be good for me to wait and that it would make her happy for me to save my sexual energy. Well, the days go on and on but not without my hope and anticipation and she always says "maybe tomorrow, if you are good." She believes that prolonged sexual frustration of the male is a positive attribute for a husband. A denied husband is an obedient husband. petticoated

For a while I thought that this was the goal - my sweet husband doing what he was told even at the cost of his own sexual frustration. But, in time, I realized that actually missed the point.

I realized that in an elegant female led marriage there can really only be one sexuality - the wife's. To talk about the submissive husband's frustration is to acknowledge the importance of the submissive husband's sexual desires even if the dominant wife choses to do nothing to relieve them. This is profoundly distasteful.

While men may have what they think are sexual needs, when they marry a dominant the very first thing they give to their marriage is any right to have those needs considered. The elegant domina does not want to have to spend her time saying "No" when her husband is begging for release. And an elegant husband never begs for anything. He accepts that only his wife's sexual needs count or matter. He is on her cycle and at her command. This is not a matter of negotiation.

When an elegant dominant wife makes that clear to her husband is a matter of choice. If I was advising a bride to be I would tell her that she owed to herself and the man that she loved to be completely frank before their wedding night. I would tell her that if she wanted to have sex on her wedding night she should set her wedding day when she would be on heat.

At the same time, many marriages evolve into female led situations. Here, one of the marks of the husband's submission should be a period of rigid chastity - either honour bound or in a cage - and that period should be repeated until the submissive husband realizes that all that his pleading does is ensure punishment.

Both newlywed dominant wives and wives who are taking on a new role should not be the least bit shy about enforcing the single sexuality in their marriage with the whip or cane. Each woman will be different but in every case the husband has to be taught and to learn that his sexuality is over except as an extension of his wife's.

It is a hard lesson but if woman wants to run her female led marriage with the sort of elegance and grace she would like to be accustomed to there can be no room for any hint of male sexual energy.

Clips

A lot of what I am writing about in my female led marriage for elegant women book is about subtly training your husband. Of course, initially you may need to use a very direct approach; but, fairly soon, he'll just crave your brief attention.

I clipped Elliott's nipples for cocktails tonight.Told him to make them hard for me and then snapped on the vintage lingerie clips. They are tight but not mean and Elliott loves the ritual.

Half an hour, after ten minutes in his corner and girdle... A very happy, submissive husband poured me my wine.

Amusing myself at Amazon

I am always amazed at the sheer variety of things which our readers buy at Amazon. Sure, there are lots of books about female led marriages. But there are also lots of books about submissive wives and dominant husbands - silly idea but you have to try it out before the natural order becomes apparent. Elliot is worried that this month our Amazon earnings are going to buy him the CB6000S chastity cage. Maybe, but I still have not decided whether to cage him or not...it seems to me that this is going to draw too much of his attention to his little cockette.

Enjoy this month's selection.

Things

CB-6000S Male Chastity Device

Sexy Botty Lift Boyshort Buttocks Enhancer Tummy Control Size XXLarge Black Girdle

CIPA 10800 Chevrolet/GMC Custom Pair Towing Mirrors

Whetstone 19-LED 2 Lighting Mode Camping Lantern

Crank Brothers Candy 3 Hangtag Bike Pedal, Blue

Books

Double Cross: The True Story of the D-Day Spies

How To Set Up An FLR: A Couple's Guide to Female Led Relationships

Taking Back Your Marriage: How To Get Your husband to Fall in Love with You (Again)

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

Uniquely Rika

Kindle Books

A Husband in Hell - Part One of Two: When a Wife Wants More a Husband Might Just Get a Lot Less

A Man In My Position (The Well Tempered Husband Book 1)

Breaking the Girl: A Novel of BDSM Erotica

Corner Time (The Well Tempered Husband Book 2)

Dom's Guide To Submissive Training Vol. 2: 25 Things You Must Know About Your New Sub Before Doing Anything Else. A Must Read For Any Dom/Master

Dom's Guide To Submissive Training: Step-by-step Blueprint On How To Train Your New Sub. A Must Read For Any Dom/Master In A BDSM Relationship

Elicitation (The Training of Eileen Book 1)

How to Spank a Woman - The modern gentleman's guide to erotic female punishment

In Trouble on the Home Front

Obedient Husband: Elegant Female Led Marriage

Spanking the Maid

Stella Book 1: Female domination erotica only for broadminded adults

Stockings Tops (Retro Lingerie Book 1)

Subduing the Husband: A tale of Female Domination

Submissive Training: 23 Things You Must Know About How To Be A Submissive. A Must Read For Any Woman In A BDSM Relationship (Women's Guide to BDSM)

Submit To Her Will. A practical guide to establishing a successful female led relationship

Tarnsman of Gor (Gorean Saga Book 1)

The Cuckold's Guide to Good Manners

The Very Naughty Boy

Wives Who Spank (Spanked Husband Stories Book 1)